Councilman Changes Position and Declares Newcomers Delivering Food as ”Locals”
In a stark turn of events, prominent Kanab City Council members officially declared all recent transplants as "locals" and said they would now prefer...
Kanab Announces New “Kanab 600” Road Race, Promises High-Speed Fun, Low-Speed Accountability
KANAB, UT—Following the roaring success of countless real-life police chases through town, Kanab has officially announced its newest tourist attraction: The Kanab 600, a...
Locals Scoff at $5 Million Road Repair Estimate, Offer to Fix it With Baling...
KANAB, UT—Residents of Johnson Canyon are scratching their heads and rolling their eyes at the eye-popping $5 million estimate to repair a damaged section...
Kanab to Get “Round”-the-Clock Safety with New Roundabout Plans
KANAB, UT—The Kanab City Council spun into action this week, tackling everything from heartfelt farewells to a potential new roundabout at the notorious 89A...
Patriots in Kanab Furious After Discovering Other Kanab Patriots Also Patriotic, But Wrong
KANAB, UT — Patriots of Kanab rallied last Sunday to express patriotism, anger, and a general sense that something is very wrong with the...
FIREFIGHTER LAWSUIT IGNITES RACIAL DEBATE IN KANE COUNTY, WHERE DIVERSITY MEANS OWNING TWO DOGS
KANE COUNTY, UT—In a plot twist that surprised absolutely no one familiar with Southern Utah, Corey Turner, a Black firefighter, has filed a lawsuit...
Local “Dog Park” Revealed to Be Minimalist Art Installation on Deforestation, Confused Pets Left...
KANAB, UT — What was once believed to be the town’s most aggressively featureless dog park has now been revealed as a high-concept minimalist...
With Public Distracted, Kanab Votes to Sell Water to Company Planning to Blast it...
Amidst the distraction of COVID-19 the kanab City Council has voted via Zoom to sell water to a company planning to blast it into...
Small-Town Big Oops: Chief Cram Charged for Forgetting Foot Traffic Exists
KANAB, UT—In a development that has left both residents and local tumbleweeds rather surprised, Kanab Police Chief Thomas Cram has been charged with failing...
Local Woman Defends Petroglyph Vandalism as “Interactive Art Project,” Cites Over 17 Reasons for...
KANAB, UT—In what experts are calling “an unmatched display of excuse-based creativity,” Daniela Ganassim Ericksen, the suspect arrested for vandalizing petroglyphs at the Wire...
