FIREFIGHTER LAWSUIT IGNITES RACIAL DEBATE IN KANE COUNTY, WHERE DIVERSITY MEANS OWNING TWO DOGS
KANE COUNTY, UT—In a plot twist that surprised absolutely no one familiar with Southern Utah, Corey Turner, a Black firefighter, has filed a lawsuit...
Stranded Utah Horse Thrilled to Be Rescued, Slightly Annoyed About Lack of Giant Check
KANAB, UT—After surviving nearly two years alone on a Lake Powell beach, Solo the horse has been rescued and is now living her best...
Kanab’s Mock Manhunt Confuses Tourists, Delights Deputies, Traumatizes One Retired Snowbird from Omaha
Sheriff’s Department Assures Public: “We Have No Idea Why We Did That Either”KANAB, UT — Sirens blared, radios crackled, and teenage boys sprinted through...
Councilman Changes Position and Declares Newcomers Delivering Food as ”Locals”
In a stark turn of events, prominent Kanab City Council members officially declared all recent transplants as "locals" and said they would now prefer...
Small-Town Big Oops: Chief Cram Charged for Forgetting Foot Traffic Exists
KANAB, UT—In a development that has left both residents and local tumbleweeds rather surprised, Kanab Police Chief Thomas Cram has been charged with failing...
Power Struggle in Kane County: Ranchers Demand Solar Panels Learn to Moo
KANAB, UT—Kane County commissioners spent Tuesday untangling the solar system—no, not that one—as AES pitched its new and improved plan for the long-stalled Glen...
State of Emergency Hits Fredonia as Town Swaps Ambulances for “Granbulances”
FREDONIA, AZ — In a shocking turn of events that literally nobody predicted (except everyone who’s ever dealt with state-level bureaucracy), the Town of...
Local Woman Defends Petroglyph Vandalism as “Interactive Art Project,” Cites Over 17 Reasons for...
KANAB, UT—In what experts are calling “an unmatched display of excuse-based creativity,” Daniela Ganassim Ericksen, the suspect arrested for vandalizing petroglyphs at the Wire...
Senator John Curtis Doles Out Whole 59 Seconds to Protesters Like He’s Oprah Handing...
KANAB, UT — In a dazzling display of magnanimity not seen since that one time your uncle offered you the last chicken nugget but...
Kane County Mafia Teams Up With Pickleball Mafia and Facebook Admins to Hunt Down...
KANAB, UT—Local humorist and certified menace to society, L.G. Johnson, is once again facing public backlash for daring to poke fun at the town’s...
