State of Emergency Hits Fredonia as Town Swaps Ambulances for “Granbulances”
FREDONIA, AZ — In a shocking turn of events that literally nobody predicted (except everyone who’s ever dealt with state-level bureaucracy), the Town of...
Criminal Charges Extinguished After Fire Chief Heals Wounds With Money and Feelings
KANAB, UT — After breaking into a locked government building at night, Hurricane Fire Chief Joe Decker has been fully cleared of criminal trespassing...
Liberal Protest in Kanab Uses Facts, Empathy to Confuse Locals Who Thought the Last...
KANAB, UT — Nearly 200 protestors marched through downtown Kanab Saturday as part of the “Hands Off” March, a local outpouring of progressive frustration,...
Kane County Votes to Secede from Utah, Citing ‘Excessive Listening to Citizens’
Secret Meeting Totally Normal and Not at All Illegal, Say Officials While Shoving Agenda Under Couch Cushions
KANAB, UT — In a move that legal...
Utah Wins Prestigious Anti-Transparency Award, Immediately Hides It in a Locked Filing Cabinet
SALT LAKE CITY — In a stirring victory for fans of secrecy, shadowy corners, and redacted PDFs, the Utah Legislature has snagged the 2025...
Senator John Curtis Doles Out Whole 59 Seconds to Protesters Like He’s Oprah Handing...
KANAB, UT — In a dazzling display of magnanimity not seen since that one time your uncle offered you the last chicken nugget but...
Stranded Utah Horse Thrilled to Be Rescued, Slightly Annoyed About Lack of Giant Check
KANAB, UT—After surviving nearly two years alone on a Lake Powell beach, Solo the horse has been rescued and is now living her best...
Kane County Mafia Teams Up With Pickleball Mafia and Facebook Admins to Hunt Down...
KANAB, UT—Local humorist and certified menace to society, L.G. Johnson, is once again facing public backlash for daring to poke fun at the town’s...
Kanab Announces New “Kanab 600” Road Race, Promises High-Speed Fun, Low-Speed Accountability
KANAB, UT—Following the roaring success of countless real-life police chases through town, Kanab has officially announced its newest tourist attraction: The Kanab 600, a...
Local “Dog Park” Revealed to Be Minimalist Art Installation on Deforestation, Confused Pets Left...
KANAB, UT — What was once believed to be the town’s most aggressively featureless dog park has now been revealed as a high-concept minimalist...
