KANAB, UT—Kane County commissioners spent Tuesday untangling the solar system—no, not that one—as AES pitched its new and improved plan for the long-stalled Glen Canyon Solar Facility near Big Water. The project, described by Commissioner Heaton as a “sore spot,” promises to generate power, spark debate, and maybe even deliver a few laughs to residents desperate for an electrifying resolution.
Solar Panels vs. Cattle: The Ultimate Showdown
Public comment opened with Mayor Schmuker of Big Water cautiously backing the project. “We’ve got a power problem,” Schmuker admitted. “I guess this is the new way to do things.” Meanwhile, a local rancher wasn’t exactly sold on replacing pastures with solar panels. “Let’s not put the cart before the horse,” he pleaded, though many wondered if the rancher had considered upgrading to an electric cart.
AES Brings the Heat… and the Batteries
AES’s pitch included 220,000 solar panels, 64 shiny battery units, and enough corporate buzzwords to power a TED Talk. “This isn’t just a solar farm; it’s a solar experience,” an AES representative probably didn’t say, but should have. They promised construction starting in spring 2025, finishing by late 2026, and a best-case scenario of less than 12 months for actual building—because who doesn’t love optimistic math?
The facility’s battery storage will ensure energy delivery avoids peak usage hours, presumably to leave the rest of us peaking at our utility bills instead. “Consistent, dispatchable energy is in high demand,” the AES team emphasized, as commissioners quietly wondered if the solar panels could also harvest some ranchers’ goodwill.
Despite the optimism, one commissioner expressed concern about the project’s “history of hiccups,” noting, “We’ve heard this song before, and the batteries might last 12 hours, but our patience definitely won’t.”
401k Trustee Drama: All About the Benjamins
In less electrifying news, the commission appointed Johnny Roundy to replace newly elected Recorder Isis Smith on the county’s 401k trustee board. “Johnny pays closer attention to investments than most,” said board rep Devin Reed, leaving everyone wondering if “most” includes that guy who thinks Bitcoin is a vegetable. With unanimous approval, Roundy took his new role, ensuring someone is keeping an eye on retirement accounts and not just using them to buy NFTs.
Grant Proposals: Like a Vegas Slot Machine That Always Wins
Economic Opportunity specialist Kelly Stowell presented several grant proposals that breezed through approval like a tumbleweed in a windstorm. Whether it was flood management or airport upgrades, each proposal hit the jackpot, proving that Kane County’s real power lies in its ability to rake in state funds. “We’re just here to make it rain,” Stowell might as well have said, pausing only to check if the state offers a grant for bad jokes.
Wrapping Up: The Thrilling World of Land Use Law
The meeting closed with riveting updates on land use code compliance, proving that even bureaucracy can be as exciting as watching paint dry—on a solar panel, of course. After a quick discussion on interlocal fire agreements and a brief executive session, the commission adjourned, leaving residents to ponder life’s big questions, like:
- Will the solar project finally take off, or will it keep circling the runway?
- Can ranchers and solar panels coexist, or is this the ultimate turf war?
- And most importantly, does Johnny Roundy know what he’s gotten himself into?
For now, Kane County is stuck in the dark—metaphorically and, sometimes, literally.
