In a stand for liberty local Libertarians have taken to coughing on produce at Kanab’s two supermarkets in addition to feverishly touching every phallic-shaped fruit and vegetable.

“It’s my right to touch bananas and “Zu-chin-e” squash, whatever that is. The first and second amendment protect my right to do that!”

Spewing a dangerous combination of moist breath and misquotes from Alexander Hamilton, one member said “Those who cough on nothing don’t cough on anything.”

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