In exchange for bailing out banks, airlines, hotel chains, wall street, and toupee makers, Republicans agreed to the demand by Democratic leader Chet Schwimer to include “Medicare For All” into the 14th round of stimulus estimated at roughly $4,000,000,000,000,000,000.00. That’s equal to the amount of money scientists have calculated has ever existed on all known planets combined.
Fed Chair Jerone Poole said “It’s really unfortunate that we have to cut down nearly two thirds of the rainforest just to print the money, but clearly we have to do it to save the economy.”
Democrats everywhere rejoiced that everyone in America will finally have health coverage, despite the increased national debt. “It’s not like anyone really knows what the national debt is anyway. I mean like, I didn’t borrow it, so I don’t owe it!”
